


Eating Disorders

by Broba



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Eating Disorders, Hurt/Comfort, Other, Psychological Drama
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-03-11
Updated: 2012-03-11
Packaged: 2017-11-01 19:56:20
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,276
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/360630
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Broba/pseuds/Broba
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Gah, wrists hurting, drawing all weekend, can't type.</p>
<p>Welp, on the Kinkmeme an anon stated that they were havin a rough time and wanted somethign nice, so it would have been ungentlemanly not to write something. Here we have a very upset Feferi, and Eridan's bright idea to help her is to bring in everyone's favourite Crabcologist.</p>
<p>Sometimes, nothing is resolved. But that's hardly the point is it?</p>
            </blockquote>





	Eating Disorders

Deep beneath the briny horror of the Alternian sea without name Feferi swam uneasily through her palatial home. Everywhere she went there were images, icons, frescoes and sculptures of her celebrated ancestor. The imperious, accusing glare seemed designed for Feferi's benefit alone, and she proceeded under the stare of a thousand eyes. The corridors were panelled in exquisite marble and mother-of-pearl, and vividly coloured paintings in sea mineral-salt pigments blazed in the lamplight as she swam.  
  
Attendant lusii buzzed around fitfully, the creatures of the deep large and small eager to serve her in any manner and win her favour, but she waved them away. Their fawning only reminded her of her precarious position at the top of the social pyramid. Or perhaps, under it.  
  
She floated up to her private chamber, the one place where she could be sure of privacy when she wanted it, and sealed the portal. Within, there was every conceivable luxury that Alternian design and technology could provide. She sighed and sat down, and while her hair slowly drifted down behind her- coarse hair, not at all like her hair- she stared at the wall. She was very deliberately not looking at the cube in the corner which would transportalize any delicacy she ordered to her. She had decided that today she would not give in to temptation and eat. She decided this all the time, and some days it stuck. But then, she would wake up all the more hungry later. She wanted to just seal up her mouth and eat nothing at all, at least for a while. If she could manage it until she shed what she saw when she looked at herself then everything would be fine, and life could go on as it was supposed to. Everything flowed from this premise, and as much as she knew she was being illogical the horns of the dilemma had her.  
  
She told herself over and over how stupid she was being about the whole thing. She knew that she had put on a little weight, and the sensible part of her mind advised her that it was not too much to lose with some discipline. And then she remembered that she had been telling herself the same thing every time she noticed her clothing get a little tighter, every time the mirror made her wince. The only thing she could successfully convince herself of was that she was more then capable of eating to excess and seeing the inevitable results. The idea of losing weight instead was entirely theoretical.  
  
Eridan was the worst. She could see the concern written plainly across his face whenever they spoke. He knew that she was unhappy, and his inability to do anything about it just made him frustrated and angry, and in turn he took it out on her and that just made her turn to the comforts she knew well, and she ate more. Highbloods were not brought up to be circumspect, they spoke their minds plainly and it was for others to respond appropriately. That was why she could barely stand seeing Eridan, the confusion and anger he felt at the situation was so plainly close to the surface, he wouldn't know how to hide it even if the thought of doing so had occurred to him.  
  
She was miserably eating a meal she despised herself for when a chime announced the arrival of a vessel at the seahive that desired her attention. That could only mean Eridan had returned again from the surface, once more trying to reason with her. She stifled a sob and wiped a hand across her mouth, before pressing a control stud and speaking clearly.  
"I'm not interested Eridan, please go away. I'll talk to you tomorrow I think. Please, just go."  
"Fef," his voice was tinny over the communications link but she could hear the sharp rebuke in his tone, "this is gettin' ridiculous, you can't stay locked up forever, come on!"  
"I don't want to talk about it," she was having difficulty keeping her tone level, she desperately wanted not to have to scream at him again.  
"Yeah well that's the thing Fef, I had a think about it, and I had an idea."  
"Eridan, what have you done?"  
"Just open the pod bay door, and meet us in the dry room."  
"Us?"  
  
Her residence had an official reception area for land dwellers, for the rare occasions that she would have to entertain dignitaries from the world above, and it was there that Eridan awaited her. The room was enormous and ornately grand, every surface was encrusted in opalescent shimmering resins and corals. The overall effect was to impress upon any visitor the absolute power and dominance of the seadweller caste. The room was dominated by an enormous table that usually seated a delegation of diplomats with maps charts and treaties to pore over. This time, there was only Eridan at the head of the table, his glasses shining in the light of an eight-candle candelabrum in front of him. At his side there was another troll, and Feferi saw at once why Eridan had insisted on meeting up in the dry room.  
"Well I'm fucking here then," groused Karkat bitterly, "what now?"  
"Karkat! What are you doing here?" Feferi squeaked.  
"I brought him uw-with me," Eridan smirked, "to talk to you."  
"Well you can jolly well bring him back up to the surface," Feferi drew herself up haughtily, "I told you, I don't want to talk today."  
Eridan calmly removed his glasses and tucked them into the breast pocket of his velvet frock coat, "Oh look," he said dryly, "lost m'glasses. Can't see a thing uw-without 'em, looks like I can't pilot anyone any uw-where."  
"Eridan, we all know you only wear those things because you think they make you look intellectual."  
"You think I look intellectual?" Eridan grinned.  
"I think you think you do."  
There was a soft rapping sound as Karkat gently tapped his knuckles on the table surface for attention, and they looked at him.  
"This is all fucking adorable," he intoned bleakly, "and I'm just so fucking glad to be here, like I can't even express to you on account of how pleased I am to have been abducted from my fucking lawnring by a psychotic fish-"  
"Hey!"  
"-in order to be dragged to a freezing undersea lair-"  
"Karkat!"  
"-for what I can only assume is some kind of elaborate fucking improvisational performance intended to get right on my last fucking nerve. But that being said, if I'm still here by the time I finish the upcoming rage-stroke that I can feel on the way, then I swear by all that remains holy I will blow a fucking ring-piece all over your fucking lovely mezzanine."  
  
Karkat waited patiently while they mentally replayed the last minute and caught up to his elaborate metaphor.  
"I'm sorry you've had a wasted journey Karkat," said Feferi stiffly, "I'll see to it that you are brought back to the surface directly if Eridan is going to be that way."  
"I have a better idea," said Eridan, standing up, "I'll be back in a uw-while."  
"Where are you going?"  
"Some uw-where else. I'll leave you two alone." He turned on his heel with a smile and departed, leaving them in an uncomfortable silence, looking at each other.  
"I don't know what's got into him," Feferi sighed, "he isn't normally like this."  
"You think? Seems like pretty much business as fucking usual to me."  
"How so?"  
Karkat groaned, "don't tell me, you have some kind of crippling anxiety that's making your moirail upset over you."  
Feferi flushed indigo and looked away, Karkat just snorted derisively.  
"Thought so. Do you know, I'd like to wake up without a thousand pathetic messages asking me to sort out some kind of emotional shit for once. This is always happening to me."  
"You mean," she covered her mouth with her hands to try to hide her shame, "you're often asked to help people?"  
"All the fucking time. And you know what? I'm pretty fucking good at it, I don't blame them. But let's not forget what's really important here."  
"What's that?"  
"MY needs! No one ever thinks about what I might want! I don't see anyone kidnapping a fucking emotional genius to come and sort MY life out. Not that I need them to, I'm fucking on top of this shit. I'm living on it. I put up a flag."  
"Kar-"  
"A big flag."  
"-kat."  
"What."  
"I really don't think you have to be here, this is just Eridan being... well, Eridan. You can leave."  
Karkat gave her a long, penetrating stare. "I can, can I?"  
"Yes you can."  
"Oh, I can?"  
"Yes, I said that you can."  
"Don't fucking lie to me."  
"Karkat!" She was still the highblood in the room, and there was only so far she would be pushed, "you presume too much!"  
"I'm a presumptuous fucker, that's for sure. Also, Eridan already told me you're messed up, so that kind of was my first clue."  
"Oh, glub!" She pressed her hands to her eyes and peeled off her goggles, it was no good any more- the tears were coming and it was long past her ability to stop them.  
  
Karkat waited patiently and let her cry, till she reached the inevitable point that her shoulders started heaving and delicate sounds of feminine distress turned to genuine racking sobs filled with guilt sorrow and mucus. Honest tears. He stood up and calmly walked over to her, pulling a chair up next to hers and sitting himself down neatly. He started to pat and rub at her back as she cried.  
"Doing all right there, huh?"  
He was answered with a sob.  
"Figures, sounds about right."  
She cried, and gradually he felt her centre of gravity shift as she slowly began to press against him. He neither encouraged nor repulsed her, he just allowed her to sob against his thin chest and wrapped his arms around her with a sigh.  
"Dunno what you expect me to do about it," he muttered.  
"Do about whuh-what?" She sniffed.  
"About whatever. I don't know, whatever's got your royal lingerie in a lump."  
"It's stuh-stupid,"  
"Really," he remarked sarcastically, "that is a shocking development. There I thought you were locking yourself away to cry all the time for very good reasons."  
"Don't mock me," she sniffed again, rubbing her face against his shirt, "I couldn't take it if you mocked me too."  
"It's what I do," he grunted, "that's how people know I'm there."  
"You like making people feel worse about themselves?"  
"Well why not," he snapped, "then maybe they'd know how I feel. I loathe myself."  
"You're just saying that. To make me feel better."  
"No, if I wanted to just spout some shit to make you feel better I'd talk about the fine view of your rump I have right now," he glanced down her back at the article in question and she squeaked.  
"Karkat!"  
"I said if! If I was going to say something! Relax."  
"Mmm,"  
"It is pretty nice though."  
"Hey!"  
"Hey yourself! I thought you were busy crying!"  
  
Feferi smiled despite herself and punched him playfully on the shoulder. His stony, hate-filled expression only made her giggle.  
"It's not going to work," she sniffed, "I'm going to feel awful again any moment."  
"Yeah I guess," he shrugged, "what am I supposed to do about it? I can't fix your life. Hell I can't even sort my own fucking life out."  
"What are we here for then?"  
He grunted and wrapped a thin arm round her shoulders, giving her a grudging squeeze, "to be dumb fucks together I suppose."  
She let out a sigh that shuddered in her throat and made her whole body shake. Karkat nodded approvingly, that was a good sign. The worst of it was over, for the time.  
"What do I do when I walk out of here and feel just as horrible as ever, Karkat?"  
"What do you think."  
"Tell Eridan to go and fetch you again?"  
He groaned dramatically and pinched the bridge of his nose, "sounds about right."  
She patted his chest and nudged her forehead against his shoulder, "thank you anyway, for coming."  
"I didn't have much of a choice."  
"I know, I'm sorry."  
"I would have anyway though."  
"Mm?"  
"Even if Eridan hadn't been such a fucking lunatic. If you'd just called me I would have come."  
"Really?"  
He just shrugged, looking away. She giggled and held his chin, forcing him to look at her. He looked furious.  
"Really Karkat?"  
He rolled his eyes theatrically and sighed, "yes, really. If you call then I'll come talk to you. Is that what you were wanting to hear?"  
"It's nice to hear."  
"That's why I'm such a fucking amazing person."  
"I think you are, really."  
"Good. Next time I want a pretty female complementing me I'll know where to turn."  
She blushed again and he laughed, patting her on the cheek with his palm.  
"Very pretty."  
  
Later, Karkat stormed out of the room and found Eridan dozing in a seat along the corridor, he had been waiting. Karkat kicked the sole of his boot and Eridan jerked awake, fumbling for his glasses.  
"Uw-well? Is it over?"  
"You're such a fucking idiot," Karkat snarled, "it's never over. This is just another day. Now get me back to my lawnring!"  
Eridan grinned and tapped his glasses, "sure. Lucky I found these, eh?"  
"You are such a douche."  
And Eridan refused to speak to him all the way home. Karkat couldn't be happier.


End file.
